Five years ago my dear friend and mentor Sara Lando challenged me to turn my camera on myself, but I wasn’t ready. In the time that has passed since I was her student, I have been faced with more than a few dark nights of the soul. I have been forced to look critically at what I’ve experienced and endured in my life, and learn to accept all of it— the good with the bad— because the whole messy lot of it is what makes me, me. As such, I am warily venturing out into a new series of self-portraits…
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Photo by Sean Quincy Munro
Owning My Scars
I was born with a condition called sagittal craniosynostosis. It basically means that part of my skull was prematurely fused and lacked the soft spot needed for head growth. It’s a fairly common defect but if it goes untreated it can cause deformity, seizures, or even death. Though I now know how lucky I was to be able to receive that surgery, I grew up ashamed of my scar. As many of you can likely identify with, anything that makes you stand out from other kids makes you a potential target to bullies. I was called so many names as a kid that I feared ever having my hair cut short…
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Trauma Survivor Portraits with Sanctuary Night
In 2017 I began a photo series exploring trauma. As a survivor myself it was healing for me to connect with others who were on a similar journey. Leading up to a shoot, I’d have subjects send me several photos or a video that represented the period of trauma in their lives. When they arrived we’d sit down and chat about their story for a while. Once they were ready I’d load up their images into a slideshow, project the images onto them, and take their portrait.
After doing several of these sessions I discovered that they were were more than an opportunity for me to connect and heal alongside other survivors but that the sessions themselves were offering closure for the subjects. They were given the opportunity to own their whole story— even the most terrifying parts— and share it with the world, thus stripping the terror of its power.
This session was particularly moving for me. I met all these women through @sanctuary_night, which is a local nonprofit that provides food, shelter, and legal services for trafficked women. Additionally, this organization is providing leadership development and employment opportunities for women who have successfully exited "the life." These survivor leaders boldly opened up to me, sharing many painful moments of their past with me and my camera. Their images depicted things like mugshots, buildings where they were trafficked, or their abusers. They held nothing back. These women were now clearly in control of their own narratives. To witness that level of boldness and vulnerability was sobering and humbling. I’m very grateful for this collaboration.
*all images used with permission